Think your girlfriend is pregnant? Or did your girlfriend tell you she is pregnant? Is your girlfriend really pregnant or making it to see your reaction? Is it yours? How can you tell if she's telling the truth or not? What are the symptoms? What do I do? Am I trapped?
Slow down, boss. If you suspect your mattress mambo mate might be pregnant, here are the early warning signs that she could have a bun in the oven (your girlfriend is pregnant).
Top 6 Early Warning Signs Your Girlfriend is Pregnant:
1. Ejaculate in vagina – You had unprotected sex, gave her your best "O" face and she is not on any form of birth control. Smart move, jackass. She missed her period. Do the math – is she really late? A day or two does not matter, but after a week I've started saving for diapers.
2. Huge boobies – She complains of (or you can visibly see) that her breasts are swollen and her nipples are sensitive. This can also occur during a normal menstrual cycle and with fluctuating hormones, but it is often a first sign of pregnancy.
3. Excessive fatigue – beyond lazy teenager syndrome. If she takes naps at the drop of a hat like a narcoleptic, she could be pregnant due to low blood sugar levels.
4. Morning sickness – this can start anywhere between the 2nd and 8th week, but usually around the 6th. The rising levels of estrogen cause the stomach to empty slowly and become more sensitive to smells which contribute to the waves of nausea they may experience.
5. Ice cream and ramen – she has random food cravings and aversions. She craves strange food combinations that normally does not eat or even the thought or smell of certain foods makes her sick to her stomach.
6. Bladder control onslaught – increased urination, especially within the first few days of conception is common. Tally up her bathroom breaks.
If your girlfriend is consistently showing any of these signs above, she could be pregnant. She could also just be a normal teenager that sleeps regularly, always craves junk food and drinks so many Smirnoff Ices she has to pee every 20 minutes. So, here's a few other tricks to really find out if your girlfriend is pregnant or not.
Check her birth control pills. Is she on the correct date? If it's Friday and the pill container still says Tuesday, you might have a problem – or that your girlfriend does not know what day of the week it is. Check the trash for pregnancy tests. Chances are they are not her mom's. Did she say she missed her period? Check the trash again for any used tampons. Check her computer and phone's internet browsing history. Did she Google "how to tell if you are pregnant?" Are there any clues on her Facebook or Twitter … like saying she thinks she's pregnant? It might be that obvious. Do not be a stalker, just see if there is anything suspicious and do not get caught. Is she being predominantly bitchy, more than usual? Increased hormone levels + stress + her knowing she's pregnant and keeping it a secret = bitch in heat. The only way to really tell if you have pregnant girlfriend is to for her to take one or two home pregnancy tests such as First Response or EPT. You can buy these tests at any grocery or convenience store, or even order them online. They come with simple instructions on how to properly manage the test to avoid any false positives. These tests are urine tests and are typically 97-99.9% accurate.
Ideally, you want her to take the test at least a week after her missed period and in the morning, before she eats or drinks. This will provide the most accurate results. Finally, see a doctor for blood tests, which are almost 100% accurate. At this point, you are going to want to start thinking about the right action to take with your pregnant girlfriend.